clear directions therapy
narcissistic relationship red flag

9 Red Flags To Look For Narcissistic Relationship

Carrie Gajowski M.A., LMFT
Jan 23, 2023
Emotional / narcissistic abuse recovery
My spouse/significant other is amazing and we are soulmates. Narcissistic abuse won’t happen to me. 
Are you sure?
What starts off as a romance novel, with your soulmate telling you everything you ever wanted to hear, slowly turns into your worst nightmare. How did they know you SO well so early on and where did that understanding go?  They told you they shared your dreams and hopes for the future but did they really? In reality, they most likely listened and parroted back to you everything you said you wanted in a significant other/partner/future spouse. 
Why does a narcissist (or someone with strong narcissist traits) do these things? A narcissist (or someone with strong narcissistic tendencies) doesn’t know themselves well so they don’t have much to really offer a partner. So they listen to you and will look like they share your interests, desires, and hobbies – until they don’t. If you are into skydiving, they will say that they would love to go with you someday. Into old movies? Check. You love pizza with anchovies? Ironically enough, they do too. Who knew you would have so much in common?
Whatever you say you like to do, there is a good chance they will also be interested in it. And that should be a warning flag for you. It may never materialize into an actual red flag but it can’t hurt to slow things down until you know the person better, and avoid ending up in a narcissistic relationship. 

9 Signs of a Narcissistic Relationship

Here are more possible red flags early in the relationship:

 

1. Buying you expensive gifts too early in the relationship.
2. Calling you sweetheart, beloved, babe way too soon in the relationship.
3. Have ex-partners/spouses hanging around a bit too much. In the mind of a true narcissist, ex-partners and ex-spouses are people they can return to in the future, if needed.
4. “Future faking”: There is a lot of talk about an ideal future, but it will never materialize.
5. A history of infidelity/cheating – if someone has repeatedly cheated in their past relationships, most likely this will happen to you too.
6. They want an immediate family with you.
7. They blame all of their former partners for the problems in the relationships. If they do this, it might be a matter of time before you get blamed.
8. Your intuition/gut is telling you that something isn’t quite right, but it doesn’t make sense because of what you are seeing in your relationship day to day.
9. Your body isn’t feeling well around this person. You might be experiencing stomach aches, sleeping issues, headaches, fatigue, etc.
These red flags are by no means the complete list for a narcissistic relationship. The bottom line is that if something doesn’t feel quite right to you, for whatever reason, it is ok to slow down and take your time getting to know someone who you are dating. It can take months and even years to get to know people. Take your time. If this is the person for you, the person will be willing to wait.

Time, your instincts, and your friends’ responses can be your best friends in avoiding a disastrous relationship.

What other red flags should be on this list?

More posts you will like

CONTACT ME

clear directions therapy

Hi, I’m Carrie.

I’m passionate about working with people who are dealing with challenging relationships. I want to empower you to make decisions that work for you.

Start your journey now.

Book a complimentary 15 minute consult

MORE ARTICLES FOR YOU

Signs of Emotional Abuse featured image

5 Signs of Emotional Abuse

It can be hard to spot signs of emotional abuse. Emotional abuse can sneak into relationships,...
Read More
how set goals and achieve them

How to set goals and achieve them 2025

Tips for Creating Meaningful Goals That StickHappy New Year! Welcome to 2025!  What are your...
Read More
broken up with a narcissist

You’ve broken up with a narcissist: Now what?

Who are you after narcissistic abuse?  Narcissistic abuse can leave us feeling frantic, horrible...
Read More