If a relationship feels too good to be true, it might be that relationship issues are present. When it comes to relationships, a lot of people think at the beginning that they’ve met their soulmate or they’ve finally met the person who understands them and will be with them forever. That could very well be true, but it takes time and effort to find out. If a relationship seems too good to be true, it might mean that it is a good idea to slow down and get to know the other person.
A lot of people rush into relationships and don’t think about their compatibility with the other person. People tend to use physical chemistry or attraction as a reliable guide to who is healthy for them. Intimacy is important yet compatibility is more than just great sex. Great sex doesn’t always equate to happy relationships because physical intimacy is just one aspect of a strong, solid relationship.
True combability is being able to work out issues, have similar values, have fun together, and enjoy each other’s company. Do you and your spouse/partner have time to talk about issues and have an occasional date night? Do you truly like each other? Do you have similar views on important issues? Do you agree on the definition of the relationship (monogamy vs polyamory for example)?
One aspect of narcissistic abuse is how quickly the relationship starts and sometimes ends. It is as if you are going from 0 – 60mph in less than 5 seconds. That would be awesome if we were talking about a sports car. A sports car is meant to go fast quickly. We expect that, and a decent sports car can deliver that. But people and relationships aren’t sports cars. We are more complicated and time is needed to make sure that everything is going to be good a year or two down the road. When a relationship starts too quickly, red flags can be missed that could jeopardize your relationship in the future.
Red Flags THAT SIGNAL relationship issues
Some red flags to look out for in a relationship include:
- Future promises of an amazing future (or Future Faking).
- Something in you deep down is questioning the relationship but you aren’t sure why.
- The person has a hard time compromising and acknowledging what you need and want.
- The person treats you better when other people are present. The person tends to mistreat you if no one else is around. Then you wish that the person they were in public was the person you deal with behind closed doors.
- The person buys you elaborate gifts too early in the relationship as a way to “buy” your love.
- Everyone and everything else is a priority in their life and they seem to have forgotten you.
This isn’t a comprehensive list and might be a good starting point for exploring red flags in relationships. It is ok to slow down, take your time, and get to know the other person. Enjoy the process.
Remember: If the relationship feels too good to be true but actually is that good, it will stay that way. That isn’t to say that there won’t be issues in the future as relationships take effort and time. If one person is rushing the relationship along with ulterior motives, slowing down will give you time to figure everything out. Most people can’t hide their motives long-term, so time is essential. If your person is truly “meant” for you, that person won’t mind slowing down and not rushing things.
Keep in mind that you deserve to be treated with kindness and respect in your relationship.
Get Help To Deal With A Narcissist
Narcissistic individuals have been known to cause distress in their relationships with most people in their lives. It is important to understand how to spot a narcissist and the best ways to deal with one. Clear Directions Therapy can help you identify these traits and provide resources on how to cope with them.
Clear Directions Therapy provides support for those who are dealing with narcissistic behavior from others. I know how to identify narcissistic traits in people and help you develop healthy coping mechanisms when dealing with narcissists. Through individual therapy sessions, I can assess your relationship dynamics and recommend strategies that are tailored specifically to your needs.
Contact Clear Directions Therapy today and get the help you need.